Apr 01 2009
God has decided the world to end the world again. Media reaction is mixed.
The Lord decides to end the world and punish mankind for its evil and debauchery. In order to spread the word, God calls a meeting with the editorial boards of The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and USA Today.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” says God, “I’m tired of the mankind’s wickedness and immorality, so I am going to destroy the world. In order to give everyone one last chance to repent, I want you to spread My word. I will give the world 72 hours from the publishing of your Sunday edition to come to Me.”
“Um, so none of us gets an exclusive?”
God rolls His eyes and disappears. Sunday comes and the papers publish their accounts.
The New York Times publishes on B-36:
“Senior Official Says ‘God’ To End World By Thursday: Account Disputed By Americans For The Separation Of Church And State.”
The Wall Street Journal publishes on the front page:
“Market Expected To Dive On Worse Than Predicted Futures Report.”
USA Today publishes in the Lifestyle section:
“New Research: We’re Screwed”
The Washington Post publishes an editorial:
“Right Wing Christian Conservative Plans To End All Programs: Women And Minorities Hardest Hit.”
